Yo, Ho, Ho & a Bottle of Rum

By Brian Brannon

For centuries, sailors and skateboarders have appreciated the virtues of fine rum. Legend has it that the Swedish belief that it’s bad luck to toast with water traces its roots back to Viking sea voyages. Sailing out of sight of land meant venturing into uncertain territory in those days, and Vikings received a daily ration of rum to take the edge off. But when they ran out of rum, the Vikings turned glum. If their supplies gave out that far from shore, chances are they would never see home again.

How good that rum must have tasted to those Vikings after a hard day of pillaging coastal towns. It might have tasted a little something like the bottle of Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum I received the other day. This 92-proof spirit is flavored with vanilla, cherry, and caramel. It goes down smoove, but packs a wallop.

This ain’t your grandmum’s rum. No, my friends, this is Sailor Jerry rum. Sailor Jerry Collins was a Navy man who went to sea and made a liberty call in Japan in the '20s. There, he learned the ancient Japanese art of tattooing. He then brought the style back to the States, adding his own touch with drawings of luscious South Seas native women, anchors, bottles, skulls and broken hearts. He inscribed  the legend, “Screwed, stewed and tattooed.”

Collins' work is classic in every sense of the word, and though I don’t have any tattoos, if I ever did decide to permanently etch something on my body, I’d want it done in the Sailor Jerry style. About the only thing I can think of that I’d want on my skin forever is something to remind me of my dear mum, but then she'd kill me if I ever got a tattoo. Luckily, skateboarding has given me plenty of scars all over my body, so I don’t have to worry about looking tough.

I stare into its rich amber color as I pour another shot. I like to drink my liquor straight so I can savor its flavor. This way that bad stuff ain't got nothin' to hide behind. And I can honestly say that Sailor Jerry’s passes the straight, no chaser, test. For those of you who like to mix it up, Sailor Jerry offers a few recipes, such as  the “Sea Dog,” “Popeye,” “Shiver Me Timbers” and that perennial favorite, “The Suffering Bastard.”

After a long day of hard grinding, Sailor Jerry’s goes down easy. It makes all those little scrapes and contusions fade away into a warm, fuzzy-all-over type of feeling. I plan on keeping a bottle in the liquor closet for entertaining, and for a bracer before heading out on those cold, crisp nights of winter hill bombs. Just don’t propose a toast to me with water or you’ll find yourself with a mutiny on your hands.

Check out the Sailor Jerry website at http://www.sailorjerry.com