The Old School Test
by Brian Brannon
How to tell you're old school:
1. You wear clothes that fit.
2. You go to a skatepark expecting to hear Minor Threat.
3. You know how to carve.
4. You have style.
5. You ride wheels bigger than your bearings.
6. When someone asks you to do a flip you give them the middle finger.
7. You know how to grind.
8. For you, street skating means riding down to the corner liquor store.
9. You go fast.
10. You know how to knee slide.
11. You can't tell which is the nose and which is the kicktail on today's
decks.
12. You do moves that mimic surfing.
13. You don't call slam dancing "moshing."
14. You've never ridden a handrail in your life.
15. You know that a lien air is Neil Blender's first name spelled backwards.
16. You shave.
17. You call riding switchstance going backwards.
18. You think most of today's so-called punk bands suck.
19. You think that Henry Rollins ruined Black Flag.
20. You have a job.
If you answer yes to any of these questions, chances are you have some old
school blood in you. If you answer yes to 5-10 of them, you have the right
to ride large wheels. If you answer yes to more than half, all the grommets
at your local spot better get the &$#* out of your way.
In today's hurly-burly world of flips, twists, broken wrists and switch,
it's hard to tell whether most skaters are coming or going, much less
whether they're old school or new school. To help ease the confusion and
contusions, we here at skaterock have developed a simple test to determine
if you're an old school skater.